Tough Mom?

OK - I don't like being tough. I miss my little guy and I don't care who knows it. This has been a loooong week. I had to go see him two times, but it was just for a short time and I need to cuddle for a long time. That should happen today since I am going to have him while Courtney finishes unpacking her stuff.

I have been able to get a lot done this week. The border in Jay'von's room had never been put up. The bottom was sponged and the top was painted, but the border in the middle never got done. So I tackled it myself this week. It was sort of melodramatic for me. When Charlie's Dad was in that room after his stroke he talked a lot about things or people he thought he was seeing. Every day he would say those "people" were still painting that room. "They just can't seem to get done", he would say. I got in the habit of asking him what color it was each day. The room is actually green, but some days he said purple, some blue, etc. It was one of the lighter moments we experienced. (Some things he saw weren't so pleasant.) I told him one day to just have them go ahead and put up the border (I already had it) since they were so busy painting. But he told me "they only paint". Since his imaginary friends didn't get it done I decided to do it myself.

After I got the border done I decided the window needed more then the mini blinds that have been there, so I set up the sewing machine and made a valance. It does really look nice and I feel a great sense of accomplishment. Now I just need to tackle Courtney's room! Not as much to do there, though.

Working in that room and all the memories it brought back was a good thing for me since I do have some very unpleasant memories of battles fought with the devil, you might say. Dad had some very fearful times of hallucinations while he was in there and many times I was alone with him when that happened. It was not a pleasant place to be. I sometimes have felt a reluctance to spend time in there, not because of fear, but because of the memories. So, it was a good thing to actually do something enjoyable in there. Yes, I know, I said enjoyable and it sounds like work. But I really did enjoy it.

I guess I have rambled enough for now. This is Saturday and I need to run to town before everyone gets here. We have a birthday party to go to this evening and I still have to get something to go with the gift I have. I'll try to keep you posted on how my renovations go. I guess now I have to say stay dry instead of stay warm.