Tough Mom?

OK - I don't like being tough. I miss my little guy and I don't care who knows it. This has been a loooong week. I had to go see him two times, but it was just for a short time and I need to cuddle for a long time. That should happen today since I am going to have him while Courtney finishes unpacking her stuff.

I have been able to get a lot done this week. The border in Jay'von's room had never been put up. The bottom was sponged and the top was painted, but the border in the middle never got done. So I tackled it myself this week. It was sort of melodramatic for me. When Charlie's Dad was in that room after his stroke he talked a lot about things or people he thought he was seeing. Every day he would say those "people" were still painting that room. "They just can't seem to get done", he would say. I got in the habit of asking him what color it was each day. The room is actually green, but some days he said purple, some blue, etc. It was one of the lighter moments we experienced. (Some things he saw weren't so pleasant.) I told him one day to just have them go ahead and put up the border (I already had it) since they were so busy painting. But he told me "they only paint". Since his imaginary friends didn't get it done I decided to do it myself.

After I got the border done I decided the window needed more then the mini blinds that have been there, so I set up the sewing machine and made a valance. It does really look nice and I feel a great sense of accomplishment. Now I just need to tackle Courtney's room! Not as much to do there, though.

Working in that room and all the memories it brought back was a good thing for me since I do have some very unpleasant memories of battles fought with the devil, you might say. Dad had some very fearful times of hallucinations while he was in there and many times I was alone with him when that happened. It was not a pleasant place to be. I sometimes have felt a reluctance to spend time in there, not because of fear, but because of the memories. So, it was a good thing to actually do something enjoyable in there. Yes, I know, I said enjoyable and it sounds like work. But I really did enjoy it.

I guess I have rambled enough for now. This is Saturday and I need to run to town before everyone gets here. We have a birthday party to go to this evening and I still have to get something to go with the gift I have. I'll try to keep you posted on how my renovations go. I guess now I have to say stay dry instead of stay warm.

Sleepy Little Guy!!

I talked to Courtney on the way home after picking up Javy from Daycare. They said he did real well for the first day. He seems to have adjusted well. Even gave them a kiss before he left. He just did not take a nap. That is my fault entirely. We had our little routine and I either rocked him or lay down with him. I guess I owe the daycare an apology. I am sorry it is causing him problems, but not sorry that we had that time together. He is such a cuddle bug.

Now I just have to adjust to not having him here. I knew it was not going to be forever, but this was sooner then I expected. I'm just glad he is doing so well.

LOTS OF CHANGE!

My days have just become longer. Courtney and Jay'von have moved to Clarksburg so she is closer to school. She has been on a waiting list for this apartment since July and it just came available. I know it is what is best for her but I sure miss my little ball of energy. It is 10:30 am on the first day and I am already lost. I have great plans to get things caught up on my house, but today I am floundering in self pity. I miss them so much. The house even seems quiet at night when they are usually on the other end asleep and not making noise. I know I will get used to it, but that doesn't help me get through this day.

She called me this morning after she dropped him off at daycare. (His first time ever) and said he didn't even cry. He wouldn't even come hug her goodbye. I'm sure he is doing fine. I just worry about nap time and will they rock him if he won't go to sleep by himself. I haven't seen him since Saturday morning and that is a long time for me. I guess I am having withdrawal.

I will survive this and come out stronger as will Javy. He will probably do better then me, I'm sure.

The rest of the family is doing well after about 3 rounds of the bug. We all had the sinus thing that goes with spring and then had to proceed to the stomach virus that everyone has had. The only difference is we had to pass it around a few times. I finally quarantined everyone to their room and used alot of disinfectant spray. I think we are done here in our house although Chuck and Danielle are still battling it. Charlie and Chuck were the last two to get sick. I guess because they are gone all day.

I am planning to update the pictures I have promised soon. Without the baby all day I will have more time. We'll see how it goes. Bye for now. I'll try to get back sooner this time.

BLOGS OF NOTE

I just noticed the term "blogs of note" as I was adding someone to my blog list. That really gave me pause to think. I had decided I was not going to post until I had something to post about besides the weather and winter blues, but this has really stopped me in my tracks.

I read many blogs. Some of them are people I know. Some of them I came across from other blogs and I really do not know them personally, but sure feel like I do because I have read so much about them and what they are going through. Of all these there are some that really stand out. I guess I would call those blogs of note.

But what really makes a blog of note. Is it because that person has 2000+ followers such as McMamma from mycharmingkids or Angie from bringtherain. Or is it that person who only has a few followers but writes from their heart about their down syndrome child standing for the first time. I can cry from that blog as easily as from McMamma when her child (diagnosed with heart failure before birth) was born healed and defect free. I have decided that any blog that is from the heart, even if it is a wordless Wednesday picture with no text, can be a "blog of note". In my book, we all have "blogs of note" every time we blog. They just might not be "noted" by so many people.

So fellow bloggers, keep up the good work. Blog to your hearts content. You might be like me, doing this for an outlet for my emotions, not caring if anyone reads it or not. Or you might be one of those that promotes followers by doing contests and such. No matter what your motive, blogging is a noteworthy cause. Our words and thoughts are now documented for anyone interested or even just curious.

By the way -- isn't this weather awesome. I am loving it!! I think it should just stay like this until about March and then warm up some.

Random Thoughts

There are so many thoughts going through my head right now I just don't know where to start. I wish I were good at writing them down and getting my idea across. I am reading a book (her second, the third is on the way) by Dorcas Smucker. She is a fellow blogger from Harrisburg, OR. Her husband was a friend of Charlie's in high school. They lived in Salem, OH at the time. I heard about her books when I received a Christmas letter from her Mother-in-law. I immediately ordered them from Amazon.com. Her writings are so true to life. Actually some of the things she writes about could have happened in our house. Of course we don't live on a farm, so some of them couldn't have either. Thankfully! I have never been asked to bring a baby lamb into my kitchen. But I have friends that do. Baby calves, too. Her blog is lifeintheshoe.blogspot.com. Check it out. You won't regret it. She is really interesting.

I said all that to say this. Why can't I take an everyday happening and make it a story like she does. I guess that isn't my gift. I know we all have gifts or things we are good at but sometimes in the humdrum of life we tend to forget. I love to sew and create things. I love to decorate cakes. I could sit at the computer for hours and create an invitation or flyer to some function or other. And just give me a kitchen and some supplies and I will be in my glory cooking a meal (along with the bread and dessert, of course). I guess you could call me a jack of all trades. So I guess I should not complain about not being prolific with words, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to express myself better.

It has sure been a long week. Everyone is finally getting better. Javy was the last to get sick and is the last to recover. He is still feeling pretty rotten, so my days are spent making him comfortable. We are looking forward to getting out and doing something this weekend. Just not sure what.

This time of year is what I call the winter slump. I always get tired of winter, staying inside, cooking the same food, cleaning up the same snow & mud messes, trying to stay warm, etc, etc, etc. Maybe we should all have a cookout in the snow. I think that is why there is no slump in the summer. There is always something else going on. Cookouts, picnics, just plain old get togethers, always doing something else. Why is it that a hamburger just does not taste the same when you cook it inside. We hardly ever have hamburgers in the winter. It just isn't as good and not worth it. I would much rather have picnic fare than chili or soup. I guess that is why I get bored with winter cooking.

WOW! I really have rambled. Sorry! I want to get some more pictures on here soon. I just have to do some editing. My computer was down for a couple of days, so I am behind.

I must be careful saying random thought, I get crazy. Take care and keep warm.

The Bug has hit!

WOW! Has it hit us. Everybody has the aches, head junk, and cough. Jay'von was very sick last evening and early morning, but has now started to drink some and the fever has come down. Thank God for that. I thought we were going to make a trip to Morgantown. We are very thankful for how healthy he is. This is the first time he has been sick since he was 3 months old.

I'm almost afraid to say it, but wasn't the weather today awesome. I did not even get to go outside, but the sunshine was wonderful. I'm not sure what will happen with old Mr. Groundhog tomorrow, but I'm sure in about 6 weeks we will be done with all this winter stuff no matter what.

So, Happy Groundhog Day, anyway!


Kids funny quote:

Chuck was filling out one of those surveys you get in the mail and was asking Danielle the questions. One of the questins was "Is anyone in your household expecting a baby?" C.J. was listening and chimed in with "Well I'm sure not expecting a baby. Why would I expect a baby? Mommy already has me and Beana, we don't need anymore."